Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: A prophecy declared as the truth when it is actually false. It may sufficiently influence people, either by fear or confusion, so that the outcome ultimately fulfills the once-false prophecy. In other words, what we define as "real" we make real, consequently.
I have a love/hate relationship with the phrase "self-fulfilling prophecy". I love this phrase because it is so true...of course, that is why I hate it, as well! In essence, what it really means goes back to the days when you were a young child and your mom or dad would say, "If you think you can't, you can't." The negative creeps into your mind, and you are unable to do what you told yourself you couldn't do anyway. In conjunction with this concept, if others repeatedly tell you that you can't do something or you aren't good enough then eventually you believe it, and what you were told you couldn't do you won't do. I'm not just rambling. I really do have a point...
This week has been a rocky one for Jason at school. We had his first ARD meeting, and all of that went well. It seems like the principal and everyone else concerned have a real desire to help Jason feel comfortable and succeed. I am very hopeful! During the ARD, the principal suggested that we go ahead and schedule a parent/teacher conference with all of Jason's teachers at one time so that they have the opportunity to give their input on how best to help him in their classrooms. We were able to have that conference this morning. For the most part, everything went pretty well. Most of the issues the teachers were already seeing in their classes were not much different than I have been used to hearing. They kind of went like this: "Jason raises his hand too much", "Jason is constantly seeking attention", "Jason is a constant distraction in the classroom", etc. All of those concerns I have become accustomed to. But I think what bothered me the most was an issue that was brought up at the very beginning of our meeting. It goes back to the English teacher I mentioned my last post.
First, I walk into a classroom, and all six teachers are sitting and watching me. I can only describe it by saying that it felt like I was standing in front of a firing squad! Then his English teacher decided to open the meeting by making the statement that her class is very advanced, and she didn't feel like Jason would do well in her class. The defensive mother in me automatically wanted to stand up, get in her face, and ask her if she was insulting my son's intelligence....but I didn't. I heard her out. Then she proceeded to explain that in her class (because it is Pre-AP) things move very quickly, and she is afraid that Jason won't be able to keep up. She mentioned that the reason for her concern was because one of the provisions in Jason's special education plan is for him be allotted extra time to complete assignments. Then she said that he currently has an 88 average. I didn't say all of the things that were on my mind at the time. I just reassured her that I am her advocate at home. I always make sure Jason does his homework, and I always follow up with the teachers to make sure they are getting his homework. The discussion was pretty much dropped, and the other teachers continued with their observations of Jason.
But, honestly, part of me is hopping mad! This teacher has already decided that Jason will not be successful in her class, and after what? One week and an 88 average? I don't feel like she is giving him a fair shot at all. She has set up a self-fulfilling prophecy for Jason. She is convinced that he won't make it, and now she is looking for every little thing he does wrong so that she can validate her preconceived notion. Why is it such a bad thing that Jason should be allowed extra time to complete assignments? Jason has a diagnosed disability...just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there. If Jason was physically disabled and in a wheelchair would she assume the same things? Would she assume he couldn't keep up with the classwork, and that he would not succeed just because he was in a wheelchair? Would she have a problem with granting him extra time to complete assignments? I can somewhat understand the "mystery" of her not really knowing/understanding what she is dealing with, but I feel like Jason is more than capable of completing his work and making good grades in her class.
Maybe I am blinded by the defensive mother in me to the point that I am not seeing the full scope of things, but I feel like I am justified in my defensiveness. Am I being irrational?
