As with all children, Jason has two sides: heaven and hell. He has a super sweet side that is completely loving and considerate. For example, I will never forget something Jason did after one of his birthday parties. Jason (as usual) had received all kinds of birthday presents, and he also got alot of money. One of the kids that was at his party was in a family that had been struggling financially after his parents had split up. Jason had already been told by his grandparents that they would take him to Toys "R" Us once his party had ended to spend the money that was already burning a hole in his pocket! He asked if the other kid could come with him, and, of course, I told him he could. When Jason and his friend arrived back home, I noticed that both boys had new things. A little while later, my dad told me that he wanted to talk to me. He said that when Jason and his friend arrived at the store Jason pulled my dad to the side and asked him if it would be okay if he used some of his own birthday money to buy something for his friend. Of course, my dad said he could. Jason bought the other kid a watch and a couple of other toys. I couldn't believe Jason was so self-less. It was a wonderful, warm-fuzzy feeling!
On the other hand, Jason has a very different side to him. He can be very mean when he is having an outburst, or rage. When Jason is raging anything and everything is fair game. He will bring up instances in the past to try to hurt me emotionally, or sometimes he will just throw or kick things. Nothing is off-limits. Fortunately for him, he usually doesn't remember anything he has done or said. He knows he did something wrong, but he isn't quite sure what he did. Nevertheless, he is always very apologetic. Unfortunately for me, I do remember the entire episode, and it hurts, at times. I wish I could emotionally turn off my brain so that it doesn't effect me as much. Overtime, I have become more and more able to tune out most of the rage, but I am still human.
Jason and I watched a show on the Discovery Health channel called "Bipolar Mysteries." The show is about four families that each have children that struggle with bipolar disorder, and Jason was shocked at how similar he truly was to most of the children in the show. To view a clip of the program click here. One thing he found interesting was that each of their parents/grandparents had videotaped the children during a rage/outburst. Interestingly, Jason asked that I begin to record him during some of his rages so that he can see what he is like when he experiences them. I have agreed to do that for him. I will update at a later date about the outcome of Jason being able to view himself having an outburst.
On a lighter note, this past weekend we celebrated Jason's very belated 13th birthday. He was in Meridell at the actual time of his birthday, so I promised him we would have a big party once he was out. We went to Hurricane Harbor, and we had the best time! If you are reading this and you were there with us, thank you so much for your love and support of Jason. We appreciate you all so very much!
No comments:
Post a Comment